I sometimes sit and ask myself this very question. I think it has been an evolution of events. It's not often I start something and actually manage to complete it. I get bored quite easily and if I am not challenged then I give up. "What's the point?" I say.
There have been only a handful of things that have pushed me enough to succeed. Horses...my sanctuary and head-space. Racing cars....my ultimate adrenalin inducing red-mist veiling fun. My children....constantly changing every day and astounding me with knowledge and intelligence. (all my DNA obviously!) and now it seems I have my biggest challenge of all, Studying.
I have spent the last few years feeling quite insignificant. Motherhood does that to you sometimes. It's a career that is not totally acknowledged by some as valuable and worthy. It's the hardest job you'll ever do. You don't have a day off and you certainly don't get sick leave. So after 7 years of supporting darling husband's blossoming career and giving my all to house/kids/animals I felt the need to get Me back. I want my girls to grow up and be confident to make a choice and go for it. I think you should never compromise yourself and if you are happy then the people around you will be to.
So a normal week for me? Where do you start? Sunday night probably the most stressful for me. Kids need to sleep not to be ratty all week. So, early bed time and then I start the week of planning the logistics of it all. School runs in the morning and then in the afternoon. Who is getting who and what time they need to be there. What kit for which club and letters and homework for which child's teacher. Then it's a case of what meals for what night and who will be home at what time to eat what and when? OK? keeping up? Monday speech and drama DD1 and swimming for DD2. Tuesday is Choir DD1 and nursery DD2. Wednesday is Piano DD1 and nursery again for poor little DD2! In between this I have about 20 hours of college work to squeeze into the space of about 8 hours. No Problemo.
Well then we are into the Thursday and Friday lecture days. I not only have to remember my kit and notes and homework I also have to remember that I need to eat too. Thursday is swimming for DD1 and then Yoga after school. Must remember to wash kit for friday swimming again!.
OK what else do I have to remember? Animals......dogs, cat, hamster, pony.
Done.
I am struggling to hold a normal conversation with most people and find myself drifting off half way through a sentence.....what was I saying? My brain is starting to kick in again. It's taken nearly 3 months of this. I am hoping my friends will still be understanding in 6 months time when I come out of this the other side and talented (haha) Garden Designer.
In all of this organised chaos I get asked on a rare Saturday morning when Darling husband is actually around "What shall I dress them in? Where are the boots for pony club? What does she need? Where are my car keys? What have you done with my briefcase? What shall I give them for breakfast?...it's never ending!" Why ask me? I will have to think just the same way you do! Why can't I just switch my brain off the minute I walk in the door? It's not fair!
I am very proud of myself actually. I managed to get a reasonable grade for my first project. I was very pleased with it and I know I can do better. I am not just a housewife anymore. I am me again. I can achieve what I set out to do and in all of this my girls can turn around and be proud of Mummy. And when someone asks "So what do you?" I don't just mumble and try to justify why I'm just a housewife.
Had I not had my essential training of the last 7 years I would not be able to juggle everything. So my heart and thoughts go out to all the housewives/husbands that feel like they aren't realising their full potential...Just look at it as essential training for your ultimate project.
And to my Darling Husband.. You'll be proud of me too just like I am of you.
Now off to do the Christmas shopping, food shopping (online), call electrician, pest man to get rid of nesting field mice that stomp around with clogs on at 3am, get chimney sweep booked, boiler serviced, bills paid, guest bed changed, pressies wrapped and hidden, dogs fed/walked, hamster cleaned out, fire wood in, guttering sorted (it's leaking), engineer out to check why a massive crack has appeared in side of house, project 2 re drawn, and something to eat..... all before 9pm at precisely the time I pass out. All while darling husband is out winning (hopefully, or he'll be in bad mood) Broker of the Year award. Fingers crossed. I know you'll do it honey.
